The moment I landed in Lisbon proved to be loaded with opportunity to sit with whatever came my way. The deep-seated sensation of ‘saudade’ hit within the first five minutes of walking around Graça. I was overcome with a feeling of bittersweet melancholy. I was on a break yet yearned for more moments like this – of nostalgic nothingness accompanied by complete staring around. Little did I know…
As I sat with ‘saudade’ and some ‘ginjinha’, I took a sweet flight to the island of São Miguel, the main island of the Azores. I specifically chose to travel during the low season as I’m not much of a social animal and not too keen on touristic raves. The empty streets of Ponta Delgada sang sweet satisfaction to my soul. I chatted with my travel companion on how ‘dead’ this all felt; how quiet, dormant, almost post-apocalyptic. I sat with it and wished for more such weary quiet when I got back home. Little did I know…
Whilst Sao Miguel felt like a drowsy social hub, its volcanic activity was very much alive. From steaming lakes sitting comfortably in the crater of a boiling volcano, to a bubbling sulphuric bath in which I swam and frolicked to my heart’s content. Waterfalls, hot springs, lush flora smelling of past colonial histories and meals cooked just by the talent of earth’s raging wrath. I sat with it, awestruck at mother nature’s unbeatable strength and stubbornness at pushing and manipulating the earth’s surface and the little people walking on it. Little did I know…
So many artistic and creative plans were hatched among all that quiet, desolate beauty. I was raging with energy to fly back and get the ball rolling – to get onto my second stage of my small business venture, to help even more people get over their fear of public speaking and to celebrate themselves in their full confidence; to mentor and train more performing artists especially in my beloved practice of solo performance; to get back to my creative practice performing and filming spurts of physical theatre in tiny spots of outdoor beauty; to get back to my students and lecture some more theatre passion…
Alas…the bittersweet nothingness of ‘saudade’, the post-apocalyptic vibe of Ponta Delgada, earth’s dictatorial nature. I landed back in Malta to find these three characters waiting for me a month down the line. And I sat with them…and marvelled, and coached a bit, and created a bit, and lectured a bit, and cried…and then I sat some more…
Words and Images by Dr Nicole Bugeja.
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